How might fear hold you back from life’s adventures? Mary Henderson shares her lesson that led her to freedom.
Elisa
Swimming with Stingrays
By Mary Henderson
It’s never been my ambition to swim in the ocean with a swarm of stingrays, but that’s exactly what I found myself doing one spring day.
In fact, my ambition has been to avoid stingrays at all costs. But on a vacation with my husband, we saw an advertisement that had five-star reviews and claimed this was the highlight of everyone’s holiday.
So that’s how I found myself on a large double-decker boat with fifty people, heading to a sandbar in the Caribbean where stingrays abound. And we’re not talking about small stingrays – these are as big as car tires, I soon discovered.
I had agreed to get on the boat because my husband had agreed that I could sit in the boat and watch the festivities from there. Still, there was a tiny person deep inside me that wanted to do it — I wanted adventure too! After all, the guide had explained that this was completely safe, that thousands of average people did it every year.
I’ve been plagued by fear all of my life, embedded by trauma throughout my childhood. Fear kept me safe then as I learned to hide from dangerous situations, and it taught me coping mechanisms that both protected and imprisoned me.
When I came to know Jesus as a teen, he began teaching me to not automatically go into fight, freeze, or flight mode, but to weigh situations rationally, considering the pros and cons. He proved the truth of his promise: “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13 NIV)
In my twenties, I decided to never let fear be my reason not to do something, and I would have missed so many tremendous opportunities if I had let fear dominate my choices. I wouldn’t have moved with three children as a missionary, first to New Zealand and then to Hungary. I wouldn’t have experienced the thrill of performing theatrical improv starting in my fifties. And I wouldn’t be teaching the Bible in prisons now, explaining God’s love to women who desperately need him.
As I advance in years, it seems like there are increasing reasons to be fearful. And yet, I’m determined to not let fear hold me back from life’s zestful offerings and God’s callings. Fear can stop us from taking rewarding steps to follow God wherever he leads—steps that will enrich and strengthen us, that will further his kingdom, like reaching out to a neighbor or trying something new to grow in a difficult area of our lives.
So what did I do that day on the boat, as a woman in her sixties with a bad back?
My lifetime of pushing past fear kicked in. “I DO want to do this,” I thought. “I want to enjoy this rare and wonderful opportunity, like the dozens of people already in the water, reveling in the adventure.”
Suddenly, I found myself climbing down the ladder, feeling the cool ocean waves lapping against my ankles, then my hips. Finally I was chest-high in churning water, standing on a sandbar. Stingrays were whisking past me on the surface and down around my feet. It felt exhilarating and unnerving at the same time.
A few feet away stood one of our guides, gently cradling a large stingray at the surface of the water, beckoning me to come pet it. I gingerly shuffled over, then slid my hand along its smooth wing as the guide explained that this was a pregnant female, evidenced by the large bump on her top. I savored stroking her as she rested in my presence. It was a miracle, experiencing this part of God’s creation, loving this magnificent creature as her companions playfully whisked around me.
I moved on from the mama, petting stingrays as they swam past, in an atmosphere of delight, becoming absorbed in wonder. And to think I would have missed all this if I had succumbed to fear.
Eventually, my back started hurting so I made my way to climb the ladder before everyone else. Sitting on the boat, I watched the enchanting playground of humans and stingrays. An enormous sense of gratitude enveloped me as I realized that fear hadn’t robbed me of this opportunity to enjoy the fruit of one of God’s great opportunities.
I almost missed out because of fear. What about you? Is there a kingdom venture that you’re avoiding, or steps of growth that you’re afraid to take? Let’s dive in, and experience God’s amazing rewards.
Mary Henderson is a licensed professional clinical counselor and a marriage and family therapist. She is the author of a new book, Beyond: Create a Life You Love After 50, 60, 70, and More — along with three co-authors: Judy Douglass, Carol Dodds, and Lyn Alexander. Mary’s other books include Breaking Free: Journey with God Through Illness to Health;Retrain Your Brain for Joy; and Rest for Your Soul.She has worked for more than 40 years with Cru, living and working throughout New Zealand, Eastern Europe, Russia, and the United States. Connect with her at maryhenderson.org
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