Do you sometimes “hate people"? Sorry to admit, but I can have this attitude. Erin Reynolds helps us readjust our attitudes.
Elisa
Community
By Erin Reynolds
“I hate people,” my friend quips as we walk the Highline canal. I laugh as she recounts the frustration of being behind a car going 45 mph in a 55 zone, then being cut off as a speed demon whizzes by.
Life in a community is a constant adjustment to the actions and reactions of others. We are like cells in a petri dish, bumping into one another and changing as a result of that encounter.
In graduate school, I learned a straightforward definition of communication, simply that communication is “acting upon information.” That definition does not guarantee that we receive the correct information the way the sender intends, but it does suggest that we have a response when we receive a message. When someone cuts you off in traffic, you assume they are putting their needs in front of yours, and your heart rate increases as you automatically prepare to stand up for yourself. But what if you see a few seconds later that the car that just cut you off was swerving to avoid a stalled car in front of them? Does it change your reaction?
As we become better communicators, we harness the power of words to ask for what we need or want more specifically and question whether we have understood someone else’s message correctly. In other words, we do not have to just react to messages, real or imagined. We can influence how we respond to them.
Maybe this is why the words and actions of others rarely rattle Jesus in the Bible. He has the wisdom to put others' words and deeds in their proper place. The most remarkable example of this might be when Jesus hangs on the cross between two criminals and prays, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If it were me hanging there in excruciating pain, I would not be thinking about, let alone asking for, the forgiveness of others. Instead, I would talk to God about how wrong they are for their actions. But Jesus is not me, and I am not him.
Thankfully, Jesus leaves us on earth with the Holy Spirit, who he says will be with us always, and “the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you” (John 14:26).
As believers in Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is in us as we see yet another political advertisement demeaning the other side, hear of calamity in warring countries, and are fearful of the direction the world is going or the way it is warming. The Holy Spirit is our guide, reminding us of everything Jesus says, including: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31); “Pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44); and “I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). The Holy Spirit is our comforter, helping us to make sense of the communication we experience in community and guiding us to choose another way of looking at and responding to things.
While community might wear us out, we know that God doesn’t want us to be alone. We learn profound things about God and ourselves in community, and if we listen, we grow more into the likeness of Jesus as we choose to respond as he does.
Erin Reynolds (PhD) is a creative, constructive thinker who cares deeply about justice, unity, and growth. Erin owns a consulting business called The Next Chapter, helping clients move from being stuck to advancing into life-giving futures. She speaks on communication topics and how words can be powerful tools to grow people, organizations, and strategic vision. As a writer, she is published in several online and print periodicals. She has worked in corporate, government, educational, and private settings. Erin was an assistant professor of communication at Fuller Theological Seminary and has worked as an adjunct professor of communication at other colleges. She resides in Denver with her husband, Bob, and three almost adult children.
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