Anxiety can attack us and leave us flailing. Jennifer Tucker helps us find some handholds.
Elisa
Calming Ourselves
by Jennifer Tucker
I’ll be painfully honest with you; my thoughts have been a bit of a battleground through most of my life. They are constantly racing and going a hundred different directions at any given moment, and I have difficulty stilling my mind and finding any sense of real rest.
I worry. I ruminate. I overthink. I catastrophize.
For a really long time I carried a lot of internal shame because of how much I struggled with my chronically anxious and negative thoughts. I knew all the Bible verses, to “be anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6), “do not worry about your life” (Matt. 6:25), and more than 360 times God reminds us to “fear not.” But for years I didn’t know how to reconcile those verses with the reality of anxiety’s presence in my life. I assumed the persistent presence of anxiety meant I must not have enough faith. I had this belief, albeit misguided and even harmful, that if only I prayed enough or trusted God more or was a better Christian in some way, then I should be free from all anxiety and worry. This left me in a crushing cycle of shame, spending years hiding and even denying my struggles.
I didn’t tell anyone how my hands trembled when I was in crowds of people.I didn’t tell anyone that I went to the bathroom to hide, crying and struggling to catch my breath when I was overwhelmed.I didn’t tell anyone that I was drowning in a sea of worries that I didn’t know how to calm, no matter how much I prayed.
Shame. Denial. Avoidance. Guilt. These are all the ways I responded to anxiety, the ways I allowed dysregulation in my body to cause dysfunction in my soul.
It wasn’t until my daughter started experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks that I began to take a closer look at my own struggles. I couldn’t avoid it anymore. In order to help her, I had to get really honest with myself and begin learning how to manage my own thoughts and feelings in healthier ways.
One practice that I have found to be profoundly helpful in calming my mind and easing my anxiety while also drawing me closer to Christ has been the spiritual practice of meditation. Sometimes it’s a simple meditative practice like breath prayer—praying a short phrase from Scripture as I deeply inhale and slowly exhale a few times—and sometimes it’s a longer time of meditation using a framework like lectio divina—an ancient monastic practice that involves a quiet rhythm of silence, reading, praying, meditating and deeply contemplating a small passage of Scripture. Whatever the method, meditation has helped me to cultivate a silent space to quiet the noise around me and within me so I can tune my heart to really hear God’s Word and find rest in his presence.
Anyone can meditate and it doesn’t require any special training or supplies. Simply slow down, be still, quiet the noise around you, and focus on the present moment and the presence of God with you in this moment. Turn and return your mind to his Word as you pray and listen to him.
The truth is thoughts are just thoughts. Even intrusive or unwanted thoughts hold no power unless we give it to them. Ruminating, worrying, or stressing about negative or intrusive thoughts will only give them more power. To minimize their control over your mind, we can practice what Paul described as “taking every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5 HCSB). We do this not by obsessing over our thoughts but by simply being mindful of them—noticing their presence with an attitude of compassion and grace—then intentionally shifting them toward something healthier and more edifying.
And our emotions—even big and uncomfortable ones like anxiety—are not our enemy. God is not mad at us for being anxious, he isn’t waiting to strike us down because we are afraid. He knows we will feel these things; they are common and valid human emotions. He just asks us to come to him when we’re afraid. He asks us to turn to him when we’re worried. He comes to us, not as a harsh judge, but as a kind Father, gently reminding us, “Shhhh, my child. You don’t need to be afraid. I’m here. You don’t have to worry. I’ll take care of you.” He wants to wrap us and all our fears into his loving arms and remind us that we are safe and held and loved, no matter what our thoughts or emotions may be telling us.
How have your thoughts been lately?
Have you slowed down enough to really notice them? Or do they just race through your mind as you race through your days?
He is inviting us to draw close to him and commune with him, to be still and allow him to speak his peace into our hearts and transform our minds through the power of the His Spirit. The question is, will we slow down long enough to accept his invitation?
Jennifer Tucker is a bestselling author, artist, graphic designer, wife, mother, grandmother, devoted follower of Jesus, and advocate for mental health. She shares her heart and art online at littlehousestudio.net. Jenn is the author of Breath as Prayer: Calm Your Anxiety, Focus Your Mind, and Renew Your Soul and Present in Prayer: A Guided Invitation to Peace Through Biblical Meditation.
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